by Alan Graham with Alfred Lehmberg
The average citizen doesn’t really understand much concerning TransFat or Trans Fatty Acids, except that it is vaguely unhealthful, so it makes it fairly easy for a “well respected” organization like the American Heart Association (AHA) to sail in, deceptively throw a bunch of crap at the “wall” like ‘al dente’ spaghetti and have much of it, not surprisingly, stick. We’re raised to respect an “acknowledged authority”, eh?
Well, forget that! I dug up an old graphic provided by the AHA I’d saved from our local paper. It is an extraordinary piece of misleading dross and anyone with the most rudimentary understanding of Fat-Chemistry would find it silly and insulting. Consequently, it’s possible this silliness could lead to unwanted scrutiny, so because the soulless and reptilian AHA propagandists don’t want to get caught actually telling an outright lie, they tell a clever Half-Truth… which, as we all know, is the worst kind of lie.
Here is what the graphic said:
Trans Fatty Acids**
In studies Hydrogenated fats tend to raise blood cholesterol levels. Foods like: Beef, Pork, Lamb. Other Foods: Fats in Butter & Milk, Vegetable Shortening, Crackers, Cookies, French Fries and Dough Nuts.
** Made through the process of Hydrogenation that solidifies liquid oil.
Do you see anything wrong? The stupid graphic actually makes one claim… then in the very next sentence tells you why that “claim” in the previous sentence is hammered Bull-Spit!!
The “previous sentence” in question ostensibly listed the food items with Transfat. The first 5 on the list are Beef, Pork, Lamb, Butter & Milk. Then in the NEXT sentence it explains that TransFat is a “process of Hydrogenation that solidifies liquid oil”.
OK, great, but where is the “Hydrogenated solidified liquid oil” in any of those 5 items… that’s right, reader! THERE IS NONE!
They don’t actually get around to a legitimate example of man-made TransFat until the 6th item listed, “Vegetable Shortening”, and I’m sure we all know Margarine and Vegetable Shortening -like Crisco- are the two classic examples of pHVO (partially Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil) OR “TranstFat”.
I find it irritating -and the reader should too- that they list butter as having TransFat when it has none, BUT they don’t list everybody’s favorite “Fake-Butter”, Margarine, which is loaded to toxic abundance with TransFat! 70 years ago, remember, Margarine was one of the original cheap and ubiquitous products designed to feed the masses after WW-2… then called Oleo-Margarine.
This was to take advantage of our vast fruited plains -for growing Corn- turning the aforementioned corn into Margarine and Vegetable Shortening so as to feed returning soldiers and workers for the massive industrial machine needed to feed and rebuild the world.
For the next 60 years it was easy to convince the masses that this toxic crap was good for them because, after all, it was made from “golden Corn” and the hazards to health were not yet apparent… so *they* put it in everything… every freaking loaf of bread and every “immortal” jar of Peanut Butter – just to mention a couple out of the thousands of products employing it.
…And lets not forget the children! Their pHVO is even in “Flint Stone” Vitamins! From injury to more egregious injury, I see *they* brought back that heart-warming, if sinister, TV ad where doting-dad shows his trusting young son how to dunk a Double-Stuff Oreo in milk for the first time? You’ve all seen it! The Double-Stuff white Crap in the middle, please recall, is pHVO whipped with sugar.
My God, think about it – giving your baby Crisco whipped with sugar! Vascular atrocity whipped with insulin abomination! No, really! Let’s double-down, hurry forward, and get serious with regard to the production of this future gas station attendant -or sex worker’s- Type-2 Diabetes, Heart Disease, and 95 IQ! Yeah, come on, we can drive that IQ down to 90 if we try! We have the will!
Back to the AHA half-truths above: why list real butter with no pHVO, reader, yet NOT list Margarine – with mucho-grande pHVO? Simple! Go to the AHA website! These gravid sociopaths list as their #1 good fat… you guessed it!
Moreover, the ONLY truly healthful fat they list, Olive Oil… they list LAST! Have I fallen into a Cosmic Bunny-Hole where everything is turned on its head by some Hookah smoking caterpillar?
Seriously, have you ever heard rumors of some secret government program where, for some reason, *they* would take solidified liquid Corn oil (like Margarine or Crisco) and inject it into Beef or Pork? No, I can’t imagine why they would do that… so maybe the TransFat they are talking about is already in the Beef.
…But wait! The newspaper describes a MAN-MADE process where oil is solidified through “Hydrogenation”, so if beef naturally came with TransFat in it, then it would have nothing to do with the “Factory made form of TransFat” referred to here, right? Yes, reader! Be enraged by the insentient duplicity of their disingenuous information!
See how insulting this is? Isn’t it obvious there is NO “Man-Made” TransFat in Beef, pork, etc; however, here is the convenient half-truth! See, there IS a “kind” of TransFat in these 5 items, but it is Mother-Nature’s, magical Trans-Fatty-Acid always found in grass-fed animals… and it is good for you and very good for the animals… wholly unlike the man-made stuff: pHVO!
The natural -good- stuff is called Conjugated Linoleic Acid (CLA) and can also be called Tonalin when you buy it in supplement form – which is what I recommend because disrespected Corn & Grain fed cattle the reader may consume have very little CLA! Supplemental CLA comes from Safflower Oil, by the way, and not from cows! CLA, additionally, can help you lose weight while it fights ageing and helps prevent Cancer, too! Your pHVO won’t be contributing to any of that, in fact: its inverse!
Folks, I can tell you a whole bunch of things that are wrong with man-manipulated meat, milk, etc. but TransFat ain’t one of them! To imply that is spittle in the consumer’s face!
I don’t like to speculate as to why the AHA would tell such an obvious Lie… excuse me, I mean Half-Truth, but I know I won’t ever believe anything else they say… OK, I lie! I haven’t believed anything they’ve said for 30 years! In fact, shortly look for Part-2 of more lies & silliness from the AHA reference “Fats & Oils”. I digress.
Now, for you concerned readers who want to understand the structure of the TransFat Molecule: why it is called TransFat even though 3 or 4 decades of history has it heralded as pHVO (partially Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil)? These were the days before TransFat wormed its way into our daily lexicon.
For years, reader, I incorrectly called the crap, “HVO” (Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil) as opposed to pHVO (“partially” Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil). Technically speaking, HVO implies “Fully” Hydrogenated, which is like inedible candle wax and in fact is not a TransFat because the long “Fully Hydrogenated” fat-molecule is not “twisted”. I’ll explain “Twisted”, a chilling concept, in a second. “Partially” Hydrogenated” means it is actually still an UNsaturated Oil (but “partially” solidified) which makes for that nice “Semi-soft”, spread-able Margarine. This is because of the “Oil” molecule being “Twisted” by, well… apparent “evilly twisted scientists”! I only say this as their stark mendacity is so threateningly plain and obvious as we move along, eh?
I personally believe this transition to using two different terms -TransFat & partially Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil- to describe the same thing, is to confuse the Consumer, frankly, so the food manufactory can put “ZERO TransFat” in big letters on the front label… (cue the Darth Vader music) while simultaneously putting pHVO (partially Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil) in tiny letters on the back label under “other ingredients”…why, you ask? Ho, boy…
For sociopathic duplicity, in my opinion, so the consumer won’t realize that if, for example, a serving of Margarine, Peanut Butter or whatever – has less than 1/2 gram of TransFat (pHVO)… the FDA ruled they can magically call it “Zero TransFat”! Though, if you saw “Zero” TransFat on the label and then accidentally saw TransFat listed in the “other ingredients”… you might think someone was… well, I don’t know… lying? I mean how can you have TransFat listed as an ingredient and then say “Zero TransFat” on the front label?! This is just more pecuniary “slight-of-Hand”, reader, by the best “Food & Drug Administration” corporate money can buy!
You see reader, if they call the TransFat Molecule by a different name, like (pHVO), in the “other ingredients” section, then you will likely never make the connection that TransFat & pHVO are exactly the same thing… …and that the product actually does have a considerable amount of “TransFat” in it!
Reader! Understand this here! No amount of Man-made TransFat is “safe”. That is the science! These are the mechanics! Revealed, is the truth!
The TransFat Molecule Unmasked:
An unmolested “saturated fat molecule”, like butter, is a long carbon chain (18 atoms), with 2 Hydrogen atoms stuck in a location like Mickey Mouse ears on each bigger carbon atom. Being “saturated” means there are no missing Mouse Ears (Hydrogen atoms), and the molecule is electrically neutral, mind, so it lays very straight and packs together, neatly, forming a solid at room temp.
Now, if you pluck out some Hydrogen atoms, it will then be an “UNsaturated” fat molecule, resulting in a magnetic attraction causing the chain to bend in the middle… looking rather like the letter “V” spread wide. This means the molecules don’t easily pack together creating an Oil that is liquid at room-temp. See how that works?
To turn this aforementioned cheap oil (usually Soy, Corn or Cottonseed) into a semi-solid (like for Margarine), Hydrogen is unnaturally forced into the mix to, ironically, defy nature… indeed causing Hydrogen atoms to shift from the “Correct” side, called the “Cis-side” (the side where the Mickey Mouse ears are located) to the “Wrong” side, the “TRANS”-Side…(see where “trans” in transfat comes from?) which causes the V-shaped, bent chain to electrically twist itself into nearly a “Straight” line – so it will again pack together and be a solid at room temp. Mickey Mouse switches out for the evil Ricky Rat! The Frankenstein Monster in born!
Behold, reader! You have created an evil, perverted, Twisted-Sister molecule that is readily incorporated into every cell-wall (a Bi-layer of fat) composing and structurally differentiating every cell in your body. Because the Molecule is unnaturally twisted; however, it is structurally weak and does not work efficiently at allowing nutrients in and letting wastes out of said cell… so, cutting to the chase, you get sick and die long before you should. Such is your food, reader!
…And ladies! Because the “twist” makes the molecule weak & saggy, it makes the cell-wall sag, too, which in turn makes your butt & boobs needlessly sag… …Thanks for that, eh? Those are the sad mechanics! Cheezy-Poofs are fried in pHVO you see – that’s why Eric Cartman has big saggy Boy-Boobs and why the guys call him “Fat Ass”…but Hey! Eric’s not fat! …He’s just “big-boned”. Uh-huh.
Closing now, but girl friends! Remember “Eric’s Boy-Boobs” the next time you slather Margarine (pHVO) on your nutritionally obfuscating and wholly unhealthful “Whole-Wheat”, “Multi Grain”, and Sugary, “Piece-O-Crap” Muffin… which is also riddled with pHVO by the way… …and do your kids a better turn in the bargain, too, eh? The kids can grow up smarter and healthier… and Mom can stay around long enough to enjoy her grandchildren!
Questions? Contact me.
That’s enough. Well be.